Skinner Vs the Door
by DiabloCat
Summary: It's hard being an invisible man. But Skinner prefers to keep that to himself. However, during an accident, he reveals a little more...
1. Accident

Rodney Skinner sat with his back against a wall, nursing both an injured nose and wounded pride.

Mina Harker stood just inside the doorway. She looked around carefully, but of course she couldn't see him. "Skinner? Was that you?"

"No, it was some other invisible guy," grumbled Skinner. "What was that for? I didn't even do anything!"

Her eyes radiated amusement. "Sorry. I heard something outside my door..."

"...and swung it open viciously!" finished Skinner. "I mean, I know I'm a thief, but for crying out loud! It's not like we're under attack! You don't need to...to...surprise assassins or anything!"

"Sorry," she said again. He could tell she didn't really mean it. There was an undercurrent of laughter in her voice. "Are you okay?"

"Huh. Like you care."

"Skinner!" she said, exasperated. He could be so difficult sometimes. She just hoped he wasn't going to sulk. "Of course I care."

"So that's why you're laughing? That's what you do when companions are hurt?"

"Well..." She hesitated. He had her there. "...no. Technically you don't. But you HAVE to admit, it was funny!"

"To you maybe. You're not sitting here with a bashed in nose!"

"Aw, poor baby," she said scathingly. "I didn't open the door THAT hard."

"Huh, that's what you think."

"Is it bleeding?"

Skinner looked up sharply. Did she mean...? No. She WAS a vampire, but she had her dignity. "No, it's not. No thanks to you."

"If it's not bleeding, then it's fine. And you can stop whining like I mortally injured you!"

"I am not whining!" he said indignantly. "You can't tell me you wouldn't be a little upset if someone swung a door in your face!"

"I'd be peeved..."

"See!"

"...but I wouldn't sit there sulking!"

"Sulking! I am not sulking!"

"You were."

"Oh, this is great. First you try and knock me out, then you laugh at me, then you accuse me of sulking! Fantastic."

Mina rolled her eyes. "You can be such a dramatic, you know. If you've finished your tirade, would you like me to check if your nose is fine?"

"No. I'll be right. Anyway," he added mournfully. "If it was broken and healed crooked, who would notice?"

"Being invisible has its advantages, doesn't it?"

"Advantages! You call not being able to see your own nose an advantage?"

Mina shrugged. "At least no one would notice, like you said."

"Yeah, but that's not necessarily a good thing. I mean, being constantly overlooked isn't that wonderful."

She looked where she thought Skinner was sitting curiously. She seemed to have touched a raw nerve. "But you're a thief. Being overlooked is kind of important."

"Sure, when you're stealing or sneaking, it's fine. But being invisible every hour of every day? It's a bit tiring."

A sigh came from the apparently empty patch of air. The female vampire was astounded. Skinner was showing a side seldom seen. Maybe the door had hit his head rather hard?

"It could be worse. Being a vampire isn't easy either."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just one freak of many. But at least you can have a decent conversation with someone. When people talk to me, they often get carted away to the nuthouse, accused of talking to themselves. No one believes them when they say they've actually got an invisible friend." He chuckled. "But I can sure have a lot of fun in crowds. Lots of innocent lovely ladies..."

Mina raised an eyebrow. Skinner was obviously regaining his composure, covering up the bit he had revealed with jokes and witticisms.

"True. Well, if you're okay...?"

"Yeah. I'll be hobbling off to annoy someone else." There was the sound of someone slowly climbing to their feet. "See ya later, Lady of the Evil Door."

"Bye, O Invisible Whinger."

Skinner casually walked down the hallway. When he was sure he was out of ear-shot, he stopped and banged his head against a wall. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why had he said all that? Now the lovely Mina would think he was depressed and start acting all caring. He didn't want anybody's pity. He dealt with his feelings alone.

Oh well. Nothing he could do now. He'd just have to brush off any kindly attempt and be twice as irritating as usual.

The invisible man strolled back to his room. Unfortunately, he bumped against Nemo's door. It made a sound much like someone trying to sneak in.

The last thing Skinner saw, before he was knocked unconscious, was a wooden door rushing for his face.


	2. Consequences

DiabloCat: Due to a request and the popularity of this story, I'm going to write a couple more chapters! Don't worry; I'm not going to make it really long or anything. Hope you enjoy it!

CHAPTER 2: CONSEQUENSES

Nemo gazed around in bewilderment. He'd heard a noise outside of his door, like someone trying to sneak in, so he'd swung the door open fast to surprise his would-be attackers. He could have sworn he'd hit something outside his door, but there was nothing to be seen...

Oh.

Oh no.

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Skinner opened one eye slowly and suppressed a groan. He felt like someone in high-heeled shoes had decided to tango up and down his skull.

What had happened? He shook his head trying to remember, but it only made his headache worse. Skinner eased himself up, and looked around. This wasn't home!

He slowly got of the bed-thing he was on, ignoring the pounding in his head, and walked over to a small window-thing. He looked out – and gasped.

He was underwater.

As strange as it seemed, he was in a room that was under the water. He knew that because a swarm of fish had just swum past the window, and that definitely didn't happen on dry land. He gaped for a moment, and then firmly pinched himself. Ow. Well, he wasn't sleeping, but this still seemed too weird to be true.

The door behind him opened. Skinner whirled, just in time to see an attractive lady walk through.

"Oh, you're finally awake. Nemo opened the door much harder than I did; I'm not at all surprised it knocked you out."

Skinner frowned. Nemo? It sounded familiar. A picture of a tall, stern-looking Indian with a beard and moustache popped unbidden into his mind.

"Skinner?" The lady was looking at him strangely. "Are you alright?"

"How...how do you know my name?" Skinner croaked out. He'd never seen this lady before in his life. There was something bizarre going on. He was in an underwater room, this stranger knew his name, and she didn't seem to care that he was invisible. He'd been invisible for a couple of weeks now; it wasn't something he'd forget easily.

The lady sighed. "Oh dear. Skinner, do you even know who I am?"

"No. Why would I?"

The lady groaned. "Ugh. This is going to be hard." She shook her head in despair. "No, forget that, this is going to be impossible." She looked at him. "Well, I suppose I'd better see how severe it is."

She walked forwards – and Skinner backed away.

"Wait a second," he said. "You're not coming anywhere near me till you tell me what's going on!"

"Skinner, please stop being so difficult," she said impatiently, trying to grab him.

He ducked under her arm. "No! How do you know my name?"

"Everything will be explained in a moment. Just stand still for a second!"

"No!"

They continued like this for a while, Mina trying to make her patient stay still, Skinner constantly evading her every attempt. Finally, Mina lost her temper.

Her eyes flashed a blood-shot red, elongated fangs protruded from her upper grip, and the air itself seemed to darken.

Skinner gave a yelp of terror and staggered backwards – into a chair. He and the chair went down together with a loud clatter, and skidded across the floor several centimetres.

"Well, it's an improvement," Mina said as she strode forward to examine her prone patient.

The invisible man tried to wriggle away when he saw her, but she grabbed him firmly.

"Now, listen to me. I am not going to hurt you – unless you continue to resist me. I am trying to help you. Everything will be explained soon enough, but first I need to gauge how badly injured you are. So just stay still!"

Ten minutes later, Mina's worst fears were confirmed.

Rodney Skinner had amnesia.

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"He's lost all memory of the League. In fact, he only remembers up until a few weeks after he turned invisible. That was roughly eight months ago."

The League gaped at her, stunned. He had lost eight months worth of memory. The invisible thief was a casualty of – a door. It would have been funny if it wasn't so serious.

Even as it was, Tom couldn't repress a snigger. Jekyll, Mina and Nemo all stared at him.

"Sorry," he said. "But, well – a door? Of all the things he could've been hit on the head with, it was a door?"

"The doors are made of very sturdy timber, and can be quite dangerous," countered Nemo.

"Yeah, especially when wielded by you, huh?" retorted Tom, making Nemo redden slightly.

"Will he eventually regain his memory?" asked Jekyll.

"Oh, yes," said Mina. "There's no permanent damage. It will take a while, but it will come back to him. In the meantime, we will have to help him as much as possible. Remember, he will not recognise you at first, so try not to alarm him."

"An invisible man with no memory loose on a big ship," muttered Jekyll. "This is going to be very interesting."

DiabloCat: And there you go. There's probably going to be one other chapter after this, and I've already started on it, so it should be up shortly.

I would like to thank all the former reviewers, and hope this story is up to standard.

Oh, and Rai? Thanks for the inspiration.


	3. What goes around, comes around

DiabloCat: Okay, I lied. I said it would be up shortly, and it's been about two months since then. Sorry. Anyhoo, here it is!

CHAPTER 3: WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND

Skinner stared hopelessly about him. Whose stupid idea was it to make a ship this big? Not to mention everywhere looked the same. He had a sneaking suspicion it was the one the freaky lady had called Nemo who was to blame.

He slumped against a wall. It was no use. Try as he might, he couldn't remember where to go. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember much. But right now, he'd settle for having enough memory to get him out of here. It was no fun being lost.

"Skinner?"

The thief jumped. He really had to get used to strangers using his name. He turned and saw the speaker, a young man with a mop of blonde hair, green eyes and an American accent.

"What are you doing?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, keeping a wary eye on the man. "Oh, nothing much."

Tom raised an eyebrow. "You don't remember who I am, do you?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? No, I don't, but you do look sorta familiar." Skinner cocked his head at the American, not that anyone could tell. He was only wearing his coat. "Tim, ain't it?"

"Tom."

"Heh, close enough. I don't suppose you know your way around this boat, do you?"

The spy chuckled. "Don't let Nemo hear you call it a boat. The Nautilus is a 'lady'."

"Nautilus." Skinner rolled the word around his mouth. "Strange. And who's this Nemo chap everyone keeps talking about?"

Tom grinned. "He's the reason you're in this state. He says he heard someone sneaking around outside his room, so he opened the door fast to surprise them. Unfortunately, there were no attackers – just you."

"I got amnesia from a door?" Skinner groaned. "That's pathetic. It couldn't have been something decent, could it?"

Tom shrugged. "Well, Nemo is pretty strong, and the doors are pretty hard."

"Yeah, but it's hardly going to impress anyone," grumbled the thief. "What girl would care about a guy that knocks himself out on chunks of wood?"

"Are you suggesting a girl would care about you anyway?"

"Hey, now that was uncalled for! We just met, and you're already insulting me?"

Tom cocked his head. "What do you mean 'just met?'"

Skinner sighed. "Oh right. Sorry. I…"

"Forgot?" Tom offered.

Skinner gave an invisible wry smile. "Can't have that much left to forget."

Tom patted him sympathetically on the shoulder. "Don't worry; it'll come back to you eventually. Mina said it wasn't permanent."

"Mina? Isn't she the one who goes all evil-demon when she's pissed?"

"Uh, yeah. Something like that."

Skinner shuddered. "She just ain't natural. Down right freaky," he muttered.

Tom gave the invisible man a playful nudge. "And who are you to talk about freaks? You're invisible! In case you haven't noticed, everyone here is strange. Hence the name 'Extraordinary' Gentlemen."

"Fair enough."

"So where were you trying to go?"

"I was trying to find somewhere where I could grab a bite to eat. I'm starving."

"The kitchen's this way. Come on."

Skinner trailed after Tom, looking about curiously. Whoever Nemo was, he sure knew how to build a decent boat…er, ship.

They came to a large door, which Tom pushed open. Skinner slipped in after him, eyeing the door suspiciously as he went. The kitchen was full of activity, cooks bustling about everywhere, chopping, stirring, boiling and frying. Skinner's eyes widened as he took in the scrumptious dishes waiting to be served. His mouth started to water.

Suddenly an ominous creak sounded out. Skinner's head snapped upwards. A large shelf, on which perched several heavy iron pots and pans, was the source. As Skinner frowned at it, it dipped down a little further and let out another creak.

Skinner's jaw dropped in horror. The shelf was about to collapse! No one else had noticed; cooks tend to be one-minded when it comes to food. He looked frantically for Tom – and saw him over the other side of the kitchen. He groaned. Why did Yanks have to have such bad timing?

With one last agonised squeal, the shelf gave way, along with the pots and pans.

With the nimble speed of a thief, Skinner dashed forwards, ramming into one cook, who then banged into another, sending them both flying out of the way.

Tom wheeled round at the crash. "What the -" he muttered, then saw Skinner's coat lying on the floor. "Damn it!"

He hurried over to his fallen friend, weaving around the startled cooks. He grabbed the thief's shoulder. "Skinner! Skinner, are you okay?"

Skinner blearily opened his eyes and groaned as a lancing pain shot through his head. "Oww."

"Do you recognise me?" Tom asked anxiously.

"Yeah, course I do. You're Tom, I'm Skinner and…" He paused as he realised what this meant.

Tom stepped back as Skinner leaped to his feet. "IT'S BACK! My memory's back!" He ran to the kitchen door. "Guess what? It's back!" He flung the door open, heedless of the thump that resulted.

"Guys!" As Skinner stepped out the door, he accidentally kicked something. Something that groaned. Skinner looked down, and his heart sank.

"Oh for the love of God," he murmured dolefully as he looked at the limp form of Nemo, flat on his back on the floor. "What did I do to deserve this?"

THE END

DiabloCat: Yah, it's bizarre. Not that great either. But hey, at least I finished it.


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